Pictures of my boys

Diet and Gods temple

As some of you know I started a diet.
On 3-1-09 I started the Nu Lean cleanse.
It a great diet. You take a protein shake, a body cleanse and burn capsules. Then only eat cucumbers, celery and raw almonds twice a day for 2 days then you get to have a 300-400 calorie meal for 3 days, then back on the veggies. The 1st day about killed me then it got easier. You only do the diet for 7 days.
I lost 6 lbs and 12 3/4"
I haven't had a pop in 2 weeks. I haven't had any candy in 1 1/2 weeks. I walk 2to 3 miles everyday and I feel pretty darn good.
On 3-22 I do it again only this time I stop smoking!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I get rid of the coffee for good. Ok I know that sounds extreme but If I want to be healthy it calls for extreme measures.
I don't need the cigs or the coffee. They are only causing toxins in my body. Who needs that when I breathe the air. I get enough that way.
I like the way I feel.
I like that I am doing something active to keep me alive for a long time.
I like the fact that I lost 5 1/2 inches off my huge thighs. EACH!!!
I have been told that my body is a temple and that it is on loan to me from God.
If that is true then man did I take advantage of this gift. Ugh.


We should be treating ourselves so much better then we do, Don't you think?
I am on a mission and that is to loose 100 more pounds. I need to start treating my body better. Stop destroying what God has given me and start cherishing it.
Are you treasuring what God gave you?

Our beautiful visitor

This duck was in our next door neighbors yard. I don't think it was hurt but man it didn't want to go anywhere.
We looked for eggs and found none. I think she was lost.
When she was still there at lunch we (Ron and I) decieded to gather her up and take her to the park and release her. We could have left her alone but we have very mean cats in the neighborhood.
Hopefully she is ok.

My Dallas trip

My best bud Vonne got a new camera for Christmas and so we were playing around and figuring out what it can do.
She has a nice camera and can do so many things with it.
Green is my new color.
Anywho here is a few from my playing around with mine. (camera)

WHY?

I'm afraid today I am feeling sorry for myself.
It hits me now and again. I'm sure alot of people feel this way.
I got to hold a week old baby yesterday. :(
I could just feel my insides balling up and screaming at me. They don't understand why they could not have a baby. They don't understand why this was denied to them. And frankly I don't either. You think you comes to terms with it and then out of nowhere it hits you.
WHY? WHY? WHY?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY NOT.
I shouldn't be questioning it I know that. Don't you think I don't know that? I'm human and I want to know why?
I would be a good mother, I have a loving husband, a job, all the love in the world to give to a child of my own.
I long to have someone call me mom and not feel guilty about it. Is that wrong?
No I don't think that is to much to ask.
But it is since it's not my lot in life.
I love my step-son's with all my heart and I am glad I got to be a part of their lives. That they let me in, and love me. They are the BEST.
I love you guys and Thank you for a wonderful 12 years.
Ok I'm done now
God bless you all.
God Bless all the mothers out there who have had a hard time getting pregnant or a hard time keeping them. I know you will see them again and raise them.

Christmas 2008