Sunday, January 31, 2010

Would you change it if you could?

So the question is, If you could change the past would you?

Would you change the bad thing that happened to you? Would you change the past to make life easier? To make the evil go away?

What if you were molested in a horrible barn? Would you change it? At the time you take yourself away, it's how we survive the bad times. You throw it out of your mind afterwords. Until one day it crawls into your mind and throws your whole world out of whack.

At 9 you still have to make choices, right. Not to go into the barn when you have a bad feeling. If not me, maybe he would have gone after my little sister. Wasn't beyond his sick mind I'm sure.

So 32 years later it has crawled out again. I wish I could go back and change what happened. No, I guess I really wouldn't. I wouldn't be who I am without it.

I know now and then, if we are to be honest, he was evil. He was...... I feel sick and scared all over again.

So would you change the past? Consider if you did, what would happen. You would change more than that one event. You wouldn't be who you are. Maybe it would happen to someone else and totally destroy them.

Don't you think God knew what he was doing? Don't you think God was right there, holding you and crying with you. Don't you think that he had a plan for you?

1 comment:

Beauty said...

I know it is hard to forgive but more
so forget. We may not be able to keep from thinking about what has happenedto us,but I know God can take it from you. That is what he suffered and died for.
In the everyday circumstances of life, you will surely be wronged by other people...sometimes innocently and sometimes intentionally. It is easy to become bitter or angry or vengeful in such situations, but this is not the Lord's way. The Savior counseled, "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you, He set the perfect example of forgiveness when He was on the cross. Referring to the Roman soldiers who had crucified Him, He Prayed, "Father, forgive them: for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34)
Pray for strength to forgive those who have wronged you. Abandon feelings of anger, bitterness, or revenge. Look for the good in others rather than focusing on their faults and magnifying their weadnesses. Allow God to be the judge of others' harmfull actions. It may be difficult to let go of hurt feelings, but you can do it with the Lord's help. You will find that forgiveness can heal terrible wounds, replacing the poison of contention and hatred with the peace and love that only God can give.
Please remember you are not responsible for what happened to you...If you do feel guilty , remember as we carry these memories over time they may start getting heavy on our heart. Please let those feeling go. Turn it to the Lord, I can tell you from my experiences(one almose the same as yours) you can feel free of these feelings when you can let the Lord take them from you. He will be there for you and hold you up and give you strength to go forward. Just remember , when you turn it to Heavenly Father let it go and don't grab it back, truly let it go and be free. The Lord already knows how you feel, he is stronger than our worst experiences. Let him carry your burden for you!
It is very hard to do this one last thing , but when you pray for the ones who wronged you and ask the Lord to do what he can for them, I will tell you from experience ,it is so healing. You will feel finally free of your hurt, and the Lord will heal any damage to you!
Feel the love the Lord has for you and all the love, respect, I have for you.
My mom would always tell me,"You come from good stock, you can do anything you set your mind to" She was a very wise person!