Saturday, December 19, 2009

Pitty Party

Pitty Party here I come.

I have been going thru a rough patch this last week. I do this every so often. Nothing but a pitty party really. I just can't seem to shake it.

On Thursday we had a Christmas party at TOPS and low and behold we have a 2 week old baby there.

Eveywhere I turn there seems to be pregnant women. UGH!

As Jim was cleaning out the book shelf and rearranging stuff he came upon our Adoption book. All our papers, questionaires, books. OMW why didn't we throw those out? And why did he pick this day, this week to find them.

A sign from God telling me to get over it already? Or is he just trying to help? Either way my heart cracked open a little for what I can never have.

I envy those people who can have kids and treasure that gift and I detest those who can have them but shouldn't.

How wrong does that make me? Do you think God will forgive me for this?

Told you it was a pitty party.

I think I will go cry for awhile.

To those couples who are pregnant or already have children. Treasure them, love them and treat them with care. You don't know how lucky you are to have them.

1 comment:

momma24 said...

Oh, honey I am so sorry. I love you and wish I could change this for you. You are a treasure and we love you more than words can say.